“Hi Dad!” Katie said as she called up her father for their weekly Sunday catch-up. “I had an interesting money experience this week with Keith. I felt like I was channeling Grandpa Moneybags. I thought, what would G-money do in this situation?”
“Oh, what happened?” Katie’s father, Charlie, asked.
“Well, you know Keith got his license about six months ago, and he’s been working for the past year. So, last Sunday night, I was sitting on the couch, and he texted me from his room.
The message said, ‘I need your credit card to get gas tomorrow.’ I felt angry that he didn’t ask politely; he just expected me to give it to him. I didn’t feel like getting into a texting discussion, so I hollered up to him.
‘Hey, Keith, why don’t you come down so we can discuss it?’
When he didn’t reply, I went up and knocked on his door. He opened it, not even looking at me. He was so engrossed in playing a video game with his friends.
‘You asked me for money, do you want to pause the game for a minute?’
‘I can’t pause,’ he moaned. ‘You know this.’
‘Well, you have a job; I don’t think I should be paying for your gas anymore, especially to go to work.’ I sighed while talking to his profile.
‘But I don’t have enough money,’ he complained.
‘You’ve been spending all your money on video games.’ I reminded him. ‘How much are you putting into saving, investing, and giving to charity? Remember the four envelopes Grandpa Moneybags taught you about?’
He didn’t reply; he just kept playing the game. So, I asked, ‘Why do you think I should continue to pay for your gas?’
‘Because you have more money than I do.’ He snickered back, still focused on the screen. If he had turned off the game, engaged me in conversation, and asked nicely without expectations, I might have relented, or at least paid for half his fuel. But as he kept his eyes fixed on the computer, ignoring me, I made a decision.
‘Since you don’t want to talk to me, I think you can buy your own gas,’ I said firmly. Keith closed the door without looking my way, leaving me standing there. I walked away feeling annoyed and disappointed.
The next morning, he surprised me. Keith has not consistently taken the bus to school since elementary school. I drove him almost every day from seventh grade through sophomore year. Then, when he got his license in September, he’s been driving on my dime ever since. I paid for the car, the insurance, and the fuel. But Monday morning, he got up early because he wanted to take the bus to school. I find it fascinating that when he was using my money to buy gas, he had wanted to drive to school, but when he had to pay for it himself, he suddenly wanted to take the bus. Isn’t that amazing?
After he got paid, he used the money in his account to buy gas for his commute to work and took the bus to school every day this week to conserve fuel. What’s more, he told me he applied for five more companies yesterday, searching for a second part-time job, since his current employer doesn’t offer enough hours to cover his expenses.”
“Wow, Katie!” Charlie said, clearly impressed with his daughter and his grandson’s response. “That is an incredible lesson for both of you. He didn’t get mad or argue; he just accepted and adjusted his behavior. What an incredible sign of maturity. I wouldn’t be surprised if Keith started calling you Mama Moneybags before too long.”
Katie smiled and said, “Thanks for the encouragement, Dad. Being a parent and making these difficult decisions is hard. I want to give him everything, but he also needs to learn the value of money. If he never has to spend his own money on essentials, he won’t understand its value. So, if my tough love as ‘Mama Moneybags’ helps him realize that money is not just for frivolous spending, and that I’m not a pushover, then I’ll gladly embrace that title,” she replied with a chuckle.
Charlie paused to reflect for a moment before continuing, “You know, Katie, it sounds like Keith needed that boundary. He had to learn how to budget, but required limitations. While you supported him with an unlimited credit card, he struggled to understand the difference between his wants and needs, between convenience and necessity. The greatest financial gift you can give him is the confidence that comes from knowing he can manage his money independently. Sometimes the most loving thing a parent can do is step back and let natural consequences become the teacher so his sense of entitlement can transform into empowerment.”
